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25 March 2008 @ 06:09 pm
Title: World Spins Madly On 
Fandom: Juno
Rating: PG
Word Count: 757
Characters: assemble
Pairings: Bleeker/Juno
Warning: spoilers for the movie.
Summary: Drabble, what was going through the characters heads in the end. Story title from the song of the same name by the Weepies.

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I’m running.
I’m happiest when I’m running because that’s when things make sense and I can feel the muscles of my body going and the sounds of the Earth moving and I am one with the world and the sky and life itself is a part of me and me a part of it in return. The only other time I’ve ever felt that was the time I was with Juno.
In fact, I feel it every time I’m with Juno, tiny earthquakes when we touch.
We’re just muscle and skin and bones, but when we touch we’re so much more.
I am every nerve in my body. She is every nerve in hers.
We are one with ourselves.
We are one.
I cross the finish line, first by far, and look into the stands for her, the only one I win, love, long for.
She’s not there.
And suddenly I know.
I keep running, this time with another destination than the part of the track from wish I started.
Juno was never mine.
She’s not my baby anymore, she’s got a baby, having a baby, has the ability to make another human being and has.
She’s not my little girl.
She’s not my Junebug.
I used to think that she was never anyone’s, but I was wrong.
She’s her own.
And she’s his.
This house is not nearly empty enough.
Maybe that’s the problem. He’s gone and his absence is hardly noticeable among my things, never ours.
He’s only gone in the places you can’t see.
I want to hate him, but I can’t. I just feel empty and tired and sick of feeling lonely. At least now it looks the same on the outside.
He never wanted this baby.
Not like I did.
Like I can’t even imagine, will.
The phone rings. The slightly creepy, overly phonetic-speaking voice of my phone machine tells me it’s Gerta Rauss, my lawyer, my light. I don’t have to hear the message to know the baby’s coming.
Juno’s baby.
And I am whole.
She’s not my daughter so Lord knows how she got my bad blood. She’s so stubborn and proud, even indisposed.
Especially indisposed.
Lord knows.
I used to worry how without a mother she’d grow to be a woman, that something would go wrong. I suppose it did, my guilty worst fear, but it’s brought her to this moment, and here and now, in her hospital gown and knee socks she’s so strong.
Lord knows she’s not my daughter.
But I’m burning like a mother.
This apartment’s empty.
I’m empty.
I’m an asshole.
Somehow I’m not surprised to be here.
I can’t do the suburbs, I can’t do the nightlife, so I’m sitting at home in my cool loft without a girl or a wife or a kid or a life.
Somehow I’m not surprised to be here.
Drink beer. Sleep. Sell out.
If this is what it’s like to pop a kid out, I’m not doing it ‘til I’m, like, 30.
Juno seemed pretty cool though.
Juno is pretty cool.
And that baby is absolutely gorgeous.
Dad says someday I’ll be here on my own terms, and for the first time it really feels like that’s possible. Like, I actually control my own destiny or something equally cheesy like that.
I’m deflated now and starting to resemble an actual human being again.
And the baby, Vanessa’s baby really, is with her, like it should be.
But I gotta admit, I kind of miss having another heartbeat next to mine.
I wind through the hospital, chemical-smelling wind pumping out of every air-conditioner and freezing against the dried sweat on my skin. The receptionist almost didn’t let me in.
“Family only to the maternity ward,” she slurred in a thick Brooklyn accent, “During non-visiting hours.”
“I’m the father.”
Her eyes, a light, bright shade of blue-green flick up and narrow.
Stand a little taller.
Look a little less like a ten-year-old.
And now I’m here. Standing in her doorway, looking at her lie there like an angel tired from trials. She looks up, her small face scared and beautiful.
I’ve never know home like this.
He’s coming closer, inducing an instant tachycardia.
My heartbeat, his breathing, his steps, my breath-
I lie down and pull her close, just hold her-
I can feel his heartbeat through our skin-
And suddenly I’m home.

Current Music: 'hey jude' - the beatles
(Deleted comment)
Jessicaaaah: Juno lovewithoutpaper on March 25th, 2008 11:18 pm (UTC)

Thank you! I owe you hugs, girl! :D